50 shades of shit: Chapter 1

She opens by trying to “tame her hair into submission”. Knowing what is coming and what this book is about? That is just some cheesy shit writing. 

As I was trying to push through this first chapter I said to myself “Gee…I wonder how much of this shit storm I can skip before I get to anything worth correcting or commenting on”. The answer? Page 11.

So for those of you who are blessed enough to have never opened this book; Miss Anastasia Steele is filling in for her “Friend” (I only put this in quotations because she seems completely two faced and completely uncaring towards her sick friend and complains about having been ‘forced’ to do this, internally. But to her friends face she’s all smiles and “Oh no problem sweet heart! You rest!”) in order to interview Mr. Grey who is the owner of a huge industrial company or some shit (It was hard to pay attention). 

During this interview she asks him a series of questions put together by her sick friend and he cocks his head to the side and smirks a lot. Through out the entire interview he constantly talks about how he NEEDS to have control and how he wants to posses things. He admits to being a control freak and she identifies him as such. 

Let me tell you a secret kiddies. Having and overwhelmingly controlling personality is a sign of a MENTAL disorder and should probably be addressed. And if you have this kind of problems and you aren’t actively in counseling for them YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE A DOM. 

Also during this interview he mentions that he has power because if he decided to cut down his telecommunications department his employees would have trouble paying their bills. Wow…What an asshole thing to say. AND SHE EVEN REALIZES HE HAS NO HUMANITY AND MAKES A MENTAL NOTE OF IT. But its okay. Because later on he casually makes a comment about how he’s worried about feeding hungry people and that’s why he invests in farming technology.

Oh wait. No. That’s not concern for people. That’s just more money in your pocket. So you’re still a fucking ass hat. 

And if you’re defining power as having the ability to HURT people and holding it over their heads…Get out. Especially people who aren’t even involved in a BDSM relationship with you. I get the whole dynamic of ‘i could break you; But I won’t” and the trust that entails. BUT THESE ARE JUST NORMAL PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR HIM AND HE SEES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AS A SUBMISSIVE. 

NOT OKAY.

NOT HEALTHY.

But who cares of he’s a controlling dick who doesn’t care about anything but being powerful and satisfying his own sadistic desire to control everyone’s lives. He’s dressed well…And is attractive. And his gaze ‘penetrates’ her and makes her flush deep….Also something about muscles deep in her belly clenching. That isn’t even an attractive phrase. 

Wow. 

-Sir

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5 thoughts on “50 shades of shit: Chapter 1

  1. Just found you blog, and yes I am enjoying it very much, Thank you.
    I know its been a while since you put this out but I just had to comment. First, I agree with EVERYTHING you have said about the books. That being said it is “mommy porn” and should be thought of as nothing more then a deviation from realty for the ADULT reader, it is not real. And I being an old broad get that. What bothers me about the books are the fact that YOUNG GIRLS are reading them. They do not have the life experiences to see what we as adults see when we read them. They see it as “romantic” and that scares the hell out of me. Very young girls believe due to the books that it is ok to be stalked by a boy cause because Grey stalked, They give power to their boyfriends because Anastasia did. OMG, how frightening and DANGEROUS this is. They are far to young and inexperienced to understand the nuances of a power exchange relationship and the communication and care that MUST go into such a relationship. I have great concern for the heath both physically and emotionally for these girls. I shudder to even think of the sadomasochistic feature of the books. A young man attempting to rig up a women or to put in his hands an impact instrument, Oh my word. I can not even let my mind go to that realm. And what that could do physically and emotionally to a young man as well. The book do not bother me. I read smut, mommy porn or what ever you wish to call it cause it is a no think-no attachment type of book. I lead a life where sometimes a fake of phony world is where I need to go. But again I am an adult. The media hyped the stuff so much that the younger girls sought it out. And now there is to be a movie. I am sorry to say but I believe a great many families will be dealing with the fall out from toxicity that is 50 Shades of Gray.
    Sorry so long, I kept it a short as I could. Thanks

    • You make a great point! It is mommy porn and I won’t take that away from anybody. My problem is that the author made no attempt to try and warn the reader that this is NOT how BDSM works and in all honesty it’s a slap in the face to the community. I have said all along that if there were some references to decent BDSM educational materials I would be a borderline advocate of these books. Buy at the end of the day it’s smut that puts an entire community in a bad light (without even an attempt to educate HERSELF on the subject) and advocates dangerous, controlling and abusive relationships under the guise of kink and power play. I am so glad you took the time to read this and give me your input! I’m always thrilled to talk to the people who follow me! And don’t apologize for the length! 🙂

      -Sir

      • Howdy 🙂
        First and for most thank you for taking the time to comment.
        Again all that you have said is correct. I guess because I NEVER take any book as “reality”, I came to it from a different point of view. When I read history I know that is askew according to the writer and the “winning” side that determined how that history is put to pen and nothing or little to do with the truth. I do not even believe autobiography’s are true but that they are only the autobiographer’s perception of what is true. So when I picked up the trilogy I was not looking at it for anything more than entertainment and definitely nothing that would define the BDSM world. I agree that a horrible light is placed on those that are in the life style. I wish I could be “out” but do to the assumptions of other people and the “bad light” I am not. And I am very much in awe of those of you who do put your selves out there. I know that the discrimination from the public as well as friends and family can be sever. People have lost their friend, family and even their jobs. I look at the local munches in my community every month and wish that I could go. I know I can not go but I still look every month. I would so love to learn more and try more but alas I am stuck behind closed doors. This does limit our ability to learn. Reading (instructional) books is wonderful and we have learned much but you can only learn so much from books on this subject or any subject. Books can never take the place of a one on one discussion on any topic. Debates and conversations are how one truly learns and grows. But as for the 50 Shade of Gray trilogy again I came to them from a different perspective. Because I am not “out” (damn I hate that word) I do not deal with the light being shined upon me. So at this point I would start to talk in circles and make the same comments that you have so graciously responded to. I will not subject you to that. I do agree with all that you have said. You are correct. My biggest problem with these book is and still remains as they are perceived by children. I truly believe that these books should have been read by only adult.
        I will add to that thanks to you Sir 🙂
        (Warning Label should read ) THESE BOOKS ARE INTENDED FOR ADULT READING ONLY. THEY ARE THE WORK OF FICTION AND ARE INTENDED FOR NOTHING MORE THEN ENTERTAINMET. THEY DO NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST WAY RELATE OR REVEL THE NUANSES THAT EXSIST IN A POWER EXCHANGE RELATIONSHIP.

      • I think you hit the nail on the head, to be honest. And I totally get that this is fiction and should be perceived as fiction but that isn’t how it was received. They make sex toys based on this series and a good example of what I mean is the floggers I’ve seen attached to this book. Almost all of them are made out of that rubber/silicone material that actually hurts quite a bit and aren’t the best thing to start with. Is it dangerous? No. But it’s just an example of how I feel these books negatively affect people and the BDSM community. I also consider the relationship in this book abusive not a power exchange. It teaches submissives to bow to the whims of their Dom’s with no concern for their own safety and well being and that is not okay. Thank you so much for the feed back and love 🙂
        -Sir

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