Q: Sir, I have been in a relationship for the past year, and he is the first lover who has been able to bring out a more playful side in me. Early on, we identified our roles. He was dominant and I was submissive and we came to this understanding quite naturally. I’m not into leather or restraints though. By dominant I mean that I like him to take charge, to be in control. I was curious about such things before, but not to the extent that I experimented with them the way I do now. Is it possible to meet a person who brings that out in you?


Glad to get my first e-mail! Well, the question seems a bit vague but I will answer as best I can. Please feel free to ask any follow up questions you may have! 

I think it is very possible to find someone who brings this side out. It’s all about comfort level. If you’re with someone who you don’t feel comfortable experimenting with you’ll never learn what you truly enjoy. Kink and BDSM is all about crossing the thresh hold of the unknown and while limits are limits and should be adhered to…Everyone has those little things that sit in the back of their minds, waiting for the opportunity to come out and play.

Having someone who is open to exploring these little ideas is key to discovering yourself in a sexual way. I think very few people come into sex knowing exactly what they want and what they like and those things are altered as you experience more.

So yes. I do believe that a person who might have no interest in kink, or just a little, can find someone to bring out that side of them through exploration and experimentation. 



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