Q: Sir, I had a very bad experience once with a master and still have nightmares from it and now that my bf and I are getting into that type of relationship I’m having a hard time letting go and giving him control. What should I do?

The biggest thing to do is to move at your own pace. You have to move as slowly as you need in order to feel comfortable. Handing over control is a big step and I advise against jumping into it. That may just lead to more road blocks along the way when you try to take your relationship further.

Keep it simple at first. Start with the very basic things you might not even consider kinky. Maybe things like spanking and hair pulling. I say start from the beggining and explore the things you have in common. Establish firm ground rules and ard limits. Explain the things you’re nervous about and the issues you’re having. Commincation is the key to any sucesful relationship and even more so in a kink relationship. Being firm in this situation is going to be almost as important as communication. You have to remember that you’re safety and well being (Mental and physical) comes before any orders or protocal.

Really just go slow and get back to basics. I think for now it would be best to not jump into a 24/7 situation. Maybe little things and agreed upon rules. Maybe you have to do certain chores (If you’re interested in service based kink). I think it’s all about the little things especially now. Get back to your roots and start over, creating new memories with you’re new boyfriend and Dom.

-Sir

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